What to Expect When You Reach Out to a Counsellor About Abuse

Reaching out for counselling after experiencing domestic abuse or stalking can feel overwhelming. You might be asking yourself: What will happen when I speak to a counsellor? Will I have to share everything? Will I feel safe?

In this post, I’ll walk you through what you can expect when you reach out to me - or any counsellor - about abuse, so you know what the process looks like and feel more at ease.

About Me

I have experience working directly with survivors of abuse and stalking and providing frontline practical support so I am able to understand some of the practical processes that you may have been through or are currently going through. Whilst my role as a counsellor is not to advise, my previous experience does mean that I may have a more holistic understanding of your situation.

I also understand the complexities of abuse and how at times survivors do not fit the stereotypical view of what recovery or trauma 'should' look like. For example, you may have ways of coping that do not make sense to you, you may still care for somebody that you don't like and you may even feel like it is harder months or years later than it was during the abuse. I will never judge these thoughts or feelings and we can make sense of them together.

A Safe and Non-Judgemental Space

My role as your counsellor is to offer a safe, compassionate, and confidential space where you are never judged or blamed. Abuse can often make survivors question themselves or feel silenced. In therapy, you’ll be listened to with empathy and respect.

Together, we can discuss how to work together in a way that helps you build feelings of trust and safety.

Survivors of domestic abuse and/or stalking can understandably feel wary of sharing their experiences with another person as they may have been gaslit, judged, not believed or shamed. I will never demand that you share anything with me that you do not want to share and my aim is always to provide a space that empowers you rather than disbelieving or questioning your experiences.

You Decide What to Share

When you start counselling for abuse or stalking, you don’t need to tell your whole story right away. Some clients feel ready to share openly in the first session, while others prefer to take it slowly and use those first sessions to explore some grounding techniques before sharing. Both approaches are completely valid. We will always go at your pace, not mine.

Confidentiality and Clear Boundaries

One of the most common worries people have is about privacy. Everything you share in counselling is confidential, with only a few exceptions. These are usually if there is serious risk of harm to yourself or others, or in situations required by law. I’ll always explain these boundaries clearly, so you know exactly where you stand and you can ask questions at any point.

Emotional and Practical Support

Counselling is not just about talking, it can also help you find ways to cope day-to-day. Together we might explore:

• Grounding techniques to manage anxiety, flashbacks, or triggers.

• Rebuilding your sense of self-worth after abuse.

• Information about specialist services.

Every survivor’s journey is different, and therapy is tailored to your unique needs.

Healing at Your Own Pace

Recovery after domestic abuse or stalking is rarely straightforward. Some sessions may feel heavy, while others bring clarity or relief. My aim is to walk alongside you, offering steady support as you rebuild safety, trust, and confidence in your life.

Taking That First Step

If you’re thinking about contacting a counsellor, I want you to know that you deserve support, safety, and healing. Reaching out means you’re taking back your power and valuing yourself.

If you’re ready

If you’d like to explore counselling for abuse or stalking, I offer a confidential, non-judgmental space where you can begin your healing journey. You can use my contact form at the bottom of the page to ask any questions or arrange a free initial call.

And if you are in immediate danger, please call emergency services. For 24/7 confidential support, you can also contact the National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247.